Why I will never try to force you to join Cloud 9 or chase you with a sex toy, trying to force you to buy it.

Daisy Contents

Right now Cloud 9 is doing a huge recruiting blitz and offering a great package through April 30th where you can get a kit worth over $500 for $89. The kit is the bomb and is full of amazing, great selling items I sooo wish I had for my own kit. The goal here is to spread the word and recruit as many people as I can to join my team. I’ve done it here and there, but I’m not real pushy about it and now the lady at the gas station won’t make eye contact with me anymore when I go buy my daily Monster Rehab. It is what it is.

I’m also making cute little promotional bags with fun goodies like Nipple Nibbler lip balm, my brown sugar body wash I made with Pure Instinct that totally rocks my face (feet and neck) off and I’m including a card and a few things from the catalog, depending on who I’m dealing with. I’ll give them to the cute little girl at the pharmacy, my hairdresser when I finally get my hair did, the fancy lady at the bank and probably the lady at the feed store who doesn’t laugh when I go in to buy organic fertilizer and run screaming when one of her chickens comes walking by (to claw my eyes out because chickens scare me even though I think we’re going to grow them).

But, the fact is, I’m not being super aggressive right now and I doubt I ever will. This is because of my cousin, who works for one of the cosmetics direct marketing companies. Don’t get me wrong, her aggressiveness has paid off for her to some degree because she’s driving their super fancy car and wins all kinds of awards. She believes in it and rocks it. I, too, believe in Cloud 9 products because they are safe and natural and, well, if you happen to need to really spice up the old love life, they can help a sista out. However, she also annoys the hell out of our entire family and asks us to please annoy our friends on her behalf. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell her I can’t wear her make-up because I’m allergic to it, so please stop trying to make me buy stuff that will cause my eyes to swell shut. So, then she tries to get me to sell it. I won’t sell something I won’t use myself. There was talk at Thanksgiving of throat punching her if she even mentioned her company one time because, as heredity would have it, the majority of us are allergic to the stuff and none of us wants to “join her team.”

I will inform you about our products. I will inform you when we have really cool recruiting specials. I’ll inform you when we have neat new party themes, new hostess incentives or if we’re running a special. I will not, however, chase you down the street with a bottle of Mona Lisa in one hand and a Tongue Twister in the other trying to make you my bitch. It’s not my style and, people already don’t like me for a variety reasons. I’d like not to add to their long list of things I do to piss them off.

I did have to laugh at my cousin’s last party, though. She did Sundaes on Sunday, where they made their own ice cream sundaes and got facials. I was thinking, we’d be doing Margaritas on Monday, getting slightly tipsy and getting demos on how to please yourself and your man. Hell, I’d even throw in the Brown Sugar Scrub so your face can get some action, too.

It really does make it very soft.