Is it possible to be married and still have passion?

The other day, one of my girlfriends and I were talking about how we miss that butterflies-in-the-tummy-can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you feeling relationships have in their early days, weeks and months and how, it was like the second the ring went on that finger the passion flew out the window. So, we got to wondering, does anyone have a passionate marriage or do we all just settle for mundane, married people sex that not only lacks spark, but creativity and fun, like in the good old days?

My thought was passion is out the window because it’s hard to want to jump the bones of the man whose underwear you wash and who, for whatever unknown reason, puts his socks in a pile under the coffee table and then gripes because they didn’t get washed. Dude, there’s a thing called a hamper. It’s not under the coffee table. I’ve been married for less than a year (it’ll be a year next month) and I used to get butterflies in my tummy when I saw my hubby. Now, when I pull up from work and he’s home, I’m like, “Oh, he’s here.” But, in the 11-months we’ve been married, we’ve been through a lot-his father moved in with us, we bought a new house, I already have two kids, one of whom is about to start driving and we (I) nursed his father until he died in December-so we’re not your average newlyweds.

Obviously there’s a need for more passion or else companies like Cloud 9 Parties wouldn’t exist and every woman’s magazine on the planet wouldn’t have tips for spicing up things in the bedroom, most of which require you to be a circus performer of have no bones, on the cover of every issue  So, I conducted a little research and here’s what I found:

  • According to iVillage’s Married Sex Survey, nearly half of all women reported their sex lives were better before they had kids, however, one-third of the women in the survey said there’s nothing they’d rather do than have sex with their hubbies (Although women with kids under 10 would rather sleep. Man, do I get that.)
  • In the same survey 75% of women said having a good sex life was important to their marriage,  41% of women with kids under 10 have used some sort of sex toy with their husband and 53% have bought sexy lingerie to spice things up.
  • Four out of five women said their sex life was predictable, but 58% also said they were happy with their sex lives.
  • In an op-ed by Psychology Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky, couples experience a two year “passion bump” after getting married due to those feelings of being all hot and bothered being replaced by a love you’d have for a family member. When you see your spouse as being “like a brother”, that makes things way less hot.
  • Lyubomirsky also said seeing the same thing over-and-over also causes couples to lose that passion. Seeing the same pair of boobies day-after-day get boring after a while, it would seem.
  • But, have no fear. If the marriage lasts 18-20 years, the passion just might make a comeback because the kids are gone and the two of you are left to focus and rediscover one another.

The one thing every single article and study I read had in common was the way to keep that spark alive is with communication, making sure your partner feels loved by doing things you know they like, and, even if you have to schedule sex, throw in some new tricks so it’s not so routine. Basically, put forth a little effort because that spark ain’t gonna keep itself lit.

I guess that means I have to stop referring to my husband as one of the children and surprise him with his favorite meal of spaghetti pie and sopapilla cheesecake when he gets home in a few days.

Or I could just nap.Easter Sale Bunny Pin Up Girl 2

Why I will never try to force you to join Cloud 9 or chase you with a sex toy, trying to force you to buy it.

Daisy Contents

Right now Cloud 9 is doing a huge recruiting blitz and offering a great package through April 30th where you can get a kit worth over $500 for $89. The kit is the bomb and is full of amazing, great selling items I sooo wish I had for my own kit. The goal here is to spread the word and recruit as many people as I can to join my team. I’ve done it here and there, but I’m not real pushy about it and now the lady at the gas station won’t make eye contact with me anymore when I go buy my daily Monster Rehab. It is what it is.

I’m also making cute little promotional bags with fun goodies like Nipple Nibbler lip balm, my brown sugar body wash I made with Pure Instinct that totally rocks my face (feet and neck) off and I’m including a card and a few things from the catalog, depending on who I’m dealing with. I’ll give them to the cute little girl at the pharmacy, my hairdresser when I finally get my hair did, the fancy lady at the bank and probably the lady at the feed store who doesn’t laugh when I go in to buy organic fertilizer and run screaming when one of her chickens comes walking by (to claw my eyes out because chickens scare me even though I think we’re going to grow them).

But, the fact is, I’m not being super aggressive right now and I doubt I ever will. This is because of my cousin, who works for one of the cosmetics direct marketing companies. Don’t get me wrong, her aggressiveness has paid off for her to some degree because she’s driving their super fancy car and wins all kinds of awards. She believes in it and rocks it. I, too, believe in Cloud 9 products because they are safe and natural and, well, if you happen to need to really spice up the old love life, they can help a sista out. However, she also annoys the hell out of our entire family and asks us to please annoy our friends on her behalf. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to tell her I can’t wear her make-up because I’m allergic to it, so please stop trying to make me buy stuff that will cause my eyes to swell shut. So, then she tries to get me to sell it. I won’t sell something I won’t use myself. There was talk at Thanksgiving of throat punching her if she even mentioned her company one time because, as heredity would have it, the majority of us are allergic to the stuff and none of us wants to “join her team.”

I will inform you about our products. I will inform you when we have really cool recruiting specials. I’ll inform you when we have neat new party themes, new hostess incentives or if we’re running a special. I will not, however, chase you down the street with a bottle of Mona Lisa in one hand and a Tongue Twister in the other trying to make you my bitch. It’s not my style and, people already don’t like me for a variety reasons. I’d like not to add to their long list of things I do to piss them off.

I did have to laugh at my cousin’s last party, though. She did Sundaes on Sunday, where they made their own ice cream sundaes and got facials. I was thinking, we’d be doing Margaritas on Monday, getting slightly tipsy and getting demos on how to please yourself and your man. Hell, I’d even throw in the Brown Sugar Scrub so your face can get some action, too.

It really does make it very soft.